Asking questions builds greater trust

The number one reason that builds trust between leaders and their direct reports is their willingness to ask questions, according to research by University of Houston professor Brené Brown.

Leaders trusted people more with a big problem if they knew the person would ask questions to understand it and also ask for help if they needed it. It made leaders feel comfortable that their direct reports ego would permit vulnerability which leads to better solutions.

Brown’s research also found when in fear people tend to allow their ego’s to restrict vulnerability and close off their hearts and emotions. Our ego takes on this job where we believe not knowing the answers or being right will lead to pains like rejection, ridicule and remorse. 

Ego becomes the protector of our heart in this situation and drives our thinking and behaviours to not allow vulnerability.

“When our heart is open and we’re connected to our emotions, we become better at creative thinking and solving problems", she says.

Allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable, replacing a knowing perspective with a curious perspective and asking questions keeps our heart open and more able to allow creative thinking problem solving to flourish.

Asking questions overcomes the protective role of our ego when we feel in fear. And that leads to people trusting us more.